Planning for the Holidays During or After Divorce

Divorce can make the holidays emotionally difficult, especially for families with children. The best way to navigate this time is through cooperation, flexibility, and planning ahead. Keep the focus on your kids, avoid conflict, and make sure both parents are involved in a way that feels supportive and stable. Whether you’re newly separated or already divorced, try to create a peaceful holiday experience—for your children and yourself.

Holiday Planning During Divorce: Keep It Peaceful, Keep It Kind

The holiday season can bring extra stress when you’re going through a divorce. For parents with children, it’s especially important to plan ahead, keep things calm, and work together to protect your kids’ emotional well-being.

If You’re Still in the Middle of Divorce

If you’re newly separated, your kids are already facing a big change. The goal during the holidays should be to keep things as normal and low-stress as possible.

• Stick with familiar traditions when you can. If Thanksgiving is usually spent with one side of the family, try to keep that arrangement, or consider splitting the day between families if you’re all local.
• Avoid arguments in front of the kids. This may be the most important gift you give them this season.
• For families who celebrate Christmas, one idea is to divide the day—one parent has Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and the other has Christmas afternoon and evening.

The focus should always be on what’s best for the children, not what’s most convenient for the parents.

Coordinate on Gifts

Gift-giving can easily turn into a competition—don’t let it.

• Talk with your co-parent about big-ticket items so you can either share the cost or decide who’s buying what.
• Avoid surprises that can lead to hurt feelings or confusion.
• Presenting a united front, even if you’re no longer together, helps kids feel secure and supported.

After Divorce: Follow the Parenting Plan

Once the divorce is finalized, your parenting plan will outline who has the children on which holidays. Respect the schedule and focus on making your time together meaningful, rather than worrying about what’s happening at the other parent’s home.

What to Do If You’re Alone

If it’s your year without the kids, the holidays can feel lonely—but they don’t have to.

• Make plans with friends or family ahead of time.
• Consider volunteering at a local shelter, food pantry, or community event. Giving back can bring connection, comfort, and a sense of purpose.
• If you’re on good terms with your ex and extended family is involved, some families even share the holiday together—though this only works in very peaceful co-parenting relationships.

FAQs

Q1: What if my co-parent and I can’t agree on the holiday schedule?
Try to keep the conversation focused on what’s best for the kids. If you’re struggling, a family law attorney or mediator can help you negotiate a temporary arrangement.

Q2: Do we have to buy gifts together after divorce?
No, but coordinating avoids duplication and prevents tension. Communication is key—especially for bigger items like electronics or experiences.

Q3: What if I don’t have the kids for the holidays?
Make a plan to spend time with others—family, friends, or through volunteering. Don’t isolate yourself, and remember the holidays come around every year. Better ones are ahead.

Need help creating a peaceful parenting plan or co-parenting agreement?
📞 Call Zaneta Matthews at (407) 630-8959 to schedule a consultation.

Zaneta Matthews is an Orlando family law attorney and a member of Collaborative Divorce Central Florida and the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals, focused on helping families navigate divorce with clarity and compassion.